I'm in the process of beginning to write a second devotional (a follow on from 'Steps on the Missionary Road') addressing issues mission partners face on the field. It would be good to know what issues people are facing e.g. work issues; home life; family; social, etc...
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Here's a thought for you. I comd a lot of missions partners who burn out. No surprises there! Too much work, to few people.
But in thinking about it, I'm coming to the conclusion that many of them invite overwork. A typical conversation might be:
Why are you so tired? - There's too much work
Why? - Because I can't say no
Why not? - Because I want people to like me
Why? - Ouch!
A fundamental lack of self-esteem causes people to compensate by trying to earn the respect of the people they work with by achieving results. This helps them feel accepted, until they get so exhausted that they can't deliver, and the whole pack of cards comes tumbling down.
I'm thinking of writing a book on it - what do you think?
Tim
Claudia Smith > Tim HerbertJanuary 27, 2010 at 6:33am
HI Herbert,
Thanks for your reply.
Overwork - yes, I think in some cases it is because people find it hard to say no. It happens at home too but especially on the mission field where you go to serve and give of yourself. But it's important to look after yourself too, isn't it.
I think you're right that sometimes we say yes because we want people to like us but I think sometimes it's because we fear that saying no means we might offend or appear to reject others. Culturally here in Kabale, Uganda, people rarely say no, so when there is an invitation to do a talk or even go to a party - saying no is a challenge. I think perhaps we need to learn the art of saying no or ways of not immediately saying yes. Also if we understood what motivates us to say yes all the time and to find it so difficult to say no, we could begin to respond differently to requests.
Sometimes when the needs are great, we can feel we must respond but really on reflection, to take a little time to evaluate the need and whether we are in a position to meet it would be beneficial to everyone in the long term.
All the best as you research for you book.
Claudia
PS One of the reasons I wrote Step on the Missionary Road (available through Oscar), was because I felt there wasn't really anything to support first time missionaries spiritually. I had a little look at your website, does Oscar have a link to it, as it would certainly be a good resource for missionaries.
Tim Herbert > Claudia SmithJanuary 28, 2010 at 5:22pm
Hi Claudia,
We have a strategy for helping people say no courteously. We tell them they're not allowed to take on new work (which can be anything from a whole project to a sermon) without getting our permission first. They then tell the enquirer that they'll have to check with us. We of course say no, so they can go back and say they'd love to but they're not allowed to. No offence caused, everyone happy.
Thanks for your comments about the website. There is indeed a link to us in the missions support section, and we've picked up quite a few new clients through it. But please pass the word on to anyone you think we could help!
Replies
Here's a thought for you. I comd a lot of missions partners who burn out. No surprises there! Too much work, to few people.
But in thinking about it, I'm coming to the conclusion that many of them invite overwork. A typical conversation might be:
Why are you so tired? - There's too much work
Why? - Because I can't say no
Why not? - Because I want people to like me
Why? - Ouch!
A fundamental lack of self-esteem causes people to compensate by trying to earn the respect of the people they work with by achieving results. This helps them feel accepted, until they get so exhausted that they can't deliver, and the whole pack of cards comes tumbling down.
I'm thinking of writing a book on it - what do you think?
Tim
Thanks for your reply.
Overwork - yes, I think in some cases it is because people find it hard to say no. It happens at home too but especially on the mission field where you go to serve and give of yourself. But it's important to look after yourself too, isn't it.
I think you're right that sometimes we say yes because we want people to like us but I think sometimes it's because we fear that saying no means we might offend or appear to reject others. Culturally here in Kabale, Uganda, people rarely say no, so when there is an invitation to do a talk or even go to a party - saying no is a challenge. I think perhaps we need to learn the art of saying no or ways of not immediately saying yes. Also if we understood what motivates us to say yes all the time and to find it so difficult to say no, we could begin to respond differently to requests.
Sometimes when the needs are great, we can feel we must respond but really on reflection, to take a little time to evaluate the need and whether we are in a position to meet it would be beneficial to everyone in the long term.
All the best as you research for you book.
Claudia
PS One of the reasons I wrote Step on the Missionary Road (available through Oscar), was because I felt there wasn't really anything to support first time missionaries spiritually. I had a little look at your website, does Oscar have a link to it, as it would certainly be a good resource for missionaries.
We have a strategy for helping people say no courteously. We tell them they're not allowed to take on new work (which can be anything from a whole project to a sermon) without getting our permission first. They then tell the enquirer that they'll have to check with us. We of course say no, so they can go back and say they'd love to but they're not allowed to. No offence caused, everyone happy.
Thanks for your comments about the website. There is indeed a link to us in the missions support section, and we've picked up quite a few new clients through it. But please pass the word on to anyone you think we could help!
Tim