Singles networking websites

Great topic idea, Ceri.

Personally, I've been on the Internet since the late 90's and I've met a fair number of people through it - some fellow Star Trek fans (yes, really - back in the 90's) and I even found the church I became part of in New York, on the Internet. A simple Google search.

So I definitely know that "real" people are online, I'm not threatened by the idea of meeting people on the Internet at all. Yet - online dating is a very different ballgame.

A few thoughts...

The "pond" is huge. There are millions of people out there, many more than you'd ever meet in person. The temptation to wait for the absolute, perfect, 100% match is all that much greater.
I can see how easy it would be to meet someone and yet always keep an eye out for someone even more perfect. Because, in this huge pond, this guy that I might meet who fits 99% of my requirements - but has a nasty habit of X - might only be an interim solution until I find that 100% guy.
There is no accounting for chemistry. Someone might tick all the boxes and when we meet, it's just not there. I'm not saying that relationships depend on chemistry alone, but attraction does have to be there.
No matter how much someone discloses of themselves, until you have met them face to face, you do NOT have a complete picture.
You might like what this person represents of themselves, but how does this guy treat his family? What's he like among his friends? How does he worship, what's his prayer life like, how is his relationship with God and others? I would want to know these things before getting into anything.

All this is not to say that there aren't couples who have met and fallen in love and got married through the Internet. But I feel it's a bit like winning the lottery: not terribly likely, and there are lots of casualties and wasted time on the way.

Then again, you could argue that I write from a perspective of living in a country where there are fellow Christians. But if I wasn't, I would ask: do I know for sure that God wants me to marry (the fact that I have a wish to get married does not constitute a promise on God's part!), and if he does, do I trust that he can bring that person into my path? The argument that "there really aren't many Christian men where I live" is invalid - it only takes one.

There... my views. :)

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Susanne Koch February 17, 2011 at 5:09pm
Great topic idea, Ceri.

Personally, I've been on the Internet since the late 90's and I've met a fair number of people through it - some fellow Star Trek fans (yes, really - back in the 90's) and I even found the church I became part of in New York, on the Internet. A simple Google search.

So I definitely know that "real" people are online, I'm not threatened by the idea of meeting people on the Internet at all. Yet - online dating is a very different ballgame.

A few thoughts...
- The "pond" is huge. There are millions of people out there, many more than you'd ever meet in person. The temptation to wait for the absolute, perfect, 100% match is all that much greater.
- I can see how easy it would be to meet someone and yet always keep an eye out for someone even more perfect. Because, in this huge pond, this guy that I might meet who fits 99% of my requirements - but has a nasty habit of X - might only be an interim solution until I find that 100% guy.
- There is no accounting for chemistry. Someone might tick all the boxes and when we meet, it's just not there. I'm not saying that relationships depend on chemistry alone, but attraction does have to be there.
- No matter how much someone discloses of themselves, until you have met them face to face, you do NOT have a complete picture.
- You might like what this person represents of themselves, but how does this guy treat his family? What's he like among his friends? How does he worship, what's his prayer life like, how is his relationship with God and others? I would want to know these things before getting into anything.
All this is not to say that there aren't couples who have met and fallen in love and got married through the Internet. But I feel it's a bit like winning the lottery: not terribly likely, and there are lots of casualties and wasted time on the way.

Then again, you could argue that I write from a perspective of living in a country where there are fellow Christians. But if I wasn't, I would ask: do I know for sure that God wants me to marry (the fact that I have a wish to get married does not constitute a promise on God's part!), and if he does, do I trust that he can bring that person into my path? The argument that "there really aren't many Christian men where I live" is invalid - it only takes one.

There... my views. :)
- Fiona L Cooper > Susanne Koch February 22, 2011 at 10:47am
  
  Very well put Susanne, I agree wholeheartedly!

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Talking: Singleness

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